For many years I had the privilege of facilitating live drama productions at New Life Christian Fellowship, in Jacksonville, FL.  New Life often showed these dramas at a later time on their cable and satellite television programs, so there was a great desire by our production teams to produce every drama with excellence and expertise.  Staging, costuming, make up and hair were my primary concerns.  Each live event brought out new levels of creativity and ingenuity amidst the exhaustive demands of stress and physical endurance.  One particular drama challenged my limits.  The script called for a massive angel to appear and the story was based upon the life and miracles of a famous evangelist and African missionary named John G. Lake.  The yuletide season had brought about this time of visitation.  Our heavenly Messenger had been cast and a very tall actor named Evan Spenneberg was selected to play this part.

The scene took place at night so that meant that the stage lighting would be very low.  Evan’s appearance would take place very quickly; however, his few lines were the heart of the entire production.  How could we get Evan costumed so that he would ‘light up’ with an angelic glow?  I studied this problem for numerous weeks and elected canvas to be the garment material.  I found some miniature battery powered Christmas lights that would serve the need well.  After I sewed together the massive canvas garment, I began the painstakingly slow process of sewing 700 tiny Christmas lights into the full length garment and hood.  Then I sewed the tiny lights into the sleeve hem.  Since the wiring was so thin and easily stressed, all this sewing was done by hand.  Once the lights were in the garment, then our main producer, Jeff Alford, wired the lights to a belt supported battery pack that utilized 4 D size batteries.

To give the garment an ethereal appearance, I sewed an outer garment to lay on top of the canvas garment.  It was made out of sheets of ‘Christmas snow’ material.  The fine, gauze like fibers had been sprayed with a glitter that made it sparkle like real snow.  The outer garment was very fragile.

We elected during dress rehearsal to not light up the costume since we wanted to protect the fragile material and since we had tested it out beforehand, we were confident it would ‘work’ as designed during the live production.  Image

Our Sunday morning production day finally arrived and the cast and crew took our places.  We carefully hoisted the heavy canvas garment over Evan’s big shoulders.  It fit well.  I placed the big D batteries in the wiring unit and got them ready in the belt pack.  Then we gently placed the fragile snow fabric garment over the canvas.  I cautiously placed many straight pins in the snow gown to hold it in place and we stood back stage, awaiting Evan’s cue.

Nervous and anxious, Evan wanted me to go ahead and turn on the lights so that he could have a few minutes to get into character.  I did so and pinned the snow fabric back down.  We were three minutes from cue.  Suddenly the lights flickered and went out!  Our batteries were dead!  In a panic I raced back to the control room for extra batteries.  The stage hand helping me could not move fast enough for my emergency.  I tried to be sweet in this pressing moment.  Patience lessons have a funny way of sneaking up on you when you don’t expect them.  Finally the needed batteries were in hand and I raced for Evan backstage.  We scrambled to get the garments opened back up and the battery pack reloaded.  1 minute to cue the stage director called out to us.  Hurry, Amy, hurry and get the garment back together!

At last the battery pack was fitted and the garments back together and Evan was glowing again!  He made his entrance:Image

The low lit stage gave Evan’s light just the setting it needed.  Carefully placed spotlights added the peripheral lighting needed to make the snow fabric glitter.  Even was angelic!  A soft ‘ah’ arose from the audience.  Evan spoke his two lines of Heavenly wonder and then the stage went black for the ending of the scene.  As Evan joined me back behind stage, he was yelping from anxiety, nervous joy and HEAT from the very hot battery pack.  Fortunately there was not enough battery juice to cause a real burn but Evan could feel the heat of the costume and the energy flowing through his lights.

It was a spectacular moment and as I helped him out of the heavy garment, I thought about all the work it took to make that 2 minute scene so special.  Hours of sewing by hand all the 700 lights; hours of handling the fragile and aggravating snow fabric that only wanted to tear when I tried to sew it; and then finally the panic of the exhausted batteries minutes before our cue.

The John G. Lake Christmas angel was spectacular and I really enjoyed helping with that production.  However, one other New Life drama stands out as truly amazing and it was the 2009 Kids Clubhouse Christmas play.  The lead cast member was our Pastor’s grand-daughter, Hannah.  The play setting was centered around youth group activities, with one event scheduled at a children’s hospital.  The kids were all on stage and the setting called for Christmas snow.

Now, Northeast Florida does not get Christmas snow.  In the 14 years we lived in Jacksonville, we never saw a single snow flake.  Some locals remembered a freak snow event in the mid 1980s but snow was not an available commodity in Florida, even for Christmas.  Our director had obtained a snow machine and it was placed in the lighting catwalk.

My secondary job, besides play facilitation was to photograph as much of the drama activity as possible and create an online photo album for the cast and family members to enjoy.  Once everyone was on stage, I took a quick break and got my camera ready for low light and motion.  Then I took my place at the edge of the stairs leading up to the platform.  I took many pictures, with a special focus on the snow scene.  I knew the kids would enjoy seeing the fake snow for themselves after the play.

Once the dress rehearsal was finished, I went back to my area and cleaned up the mess.  I knew I would be back at church at 7:00 a.m to get everything ready for the 8:00 a.m. arrival of the cast needing to be costumed and made up for the play.  I went home and after supper, downloaded the many pictures I had taken of the rehearsal.  When I got to the snow scene, I was overcome with emotion at what my natural eyes had missed.  Here are a series of pictures from that stressful, long day but look what happened with the snow.  Click on each one separately to see them in full size.  The Amplified Bible, Hebrews 1:14 says this:  “Are not the angels all ministering spirits (servants) sent out in the service (of God for the assistance) of those who are to inherit salvation?”

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“Glory to God in the highest (heaven), and on earth peace  to men on whom His favor rests…Luke 2:14.”

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By Amy Hartmann

August 20, 2012

 

For many years now, I have been eager to understand the true meaning of the word worship.  Churches have their designated worship programs and worship leaders.  Television has its idol reviews.  Football team mania, movie star adulation, body builder obsession and people addicted to tanning are all examples of this word in action around us.  Worship, as a word, has been strewn about in the public arena to mean many different things.

In my grandparents days, worship was a more simpler ideology and it generally referred to man’s direct response to God as Creator and Sustainer of all living things.  Awesome was a biblical word and it pointed out a unique characteristic or action that belonged to God alone.

Now days awesome and worship refer to everything from shoes to the latest reality TV persona.  Something deep inside has called me to bypass all of this superficial marketing excess and examine the origin of worship.  Looking past the seen examples in everyday life, I began studying the biblical words for praise.  Ray Hughes and numerous other worship leaders have laid foundational principals in my understanding.  However, Don Potter’s book, “Facing the Wall”[1] brought me up to the next level.  He wrote this book specifically for “praise leaders and those who love to worship”.[2]

Don Potter’s writings opened my understanding of praise to be so much more than mere sound and emotion.  Don taught me that praise was a elemental tool for opening up the human heart to the manifest presence of God.  He also introduced a key aspect of the responsibility of praise and worship leaders: teaching the people to differentiate between the holy and the profane – causing them to discern between the unclean and the clean (Ezekiel 44:23).[3]

Don’s work also revealed some of the significant Hebrew words for praise and their unique and often extreme differences.  I looked up all the words for praise in Strong’s Concordance.[4]  Raising our hands in praise as a way of saying thanks to God, or in supplication for deliverance from our problems are directions found in the words yadah (Strong’s Old Testament Reference 3034) and towdah (Strong’s OT 8426).  Kneeling in praise and prayer comes from the word barak (Strongs’s OT 1288).  The word zamar (Strong’s OT 2167) shows praise through music and the plucking of strings.  Tphillah praise (Strong’s OT 8605) is prayer sung as a hymn.  Taqa praise (Strong’s OT 8628) comes through loud trumpet blasts or the clapping of hands.  Shabach praise (Strong’s OT 7623) is rather noisy too; it involves shouting with a loud voice, cheering and celebrating with great joy.

Perhaps the most important word for praise is tehillah (Strong’s OT 8416).  This form of praise involves spontaneous, new songs offered in the moment of live worship.  Psalm 22:3 says that the manifest presence of God is enthroned in our midst when we praise Him this way.

I think that it is more than just a coincidence that one of the main words, barak, which instructs us to kneel before God and praise Him, happens to be the name of the current president of our nation.  I believe this is a prophetic clue from God showing us what it will take to heal our land.  Proverbs 25:2 tells us that “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.”  I still felt there was more to understand about worship.

It occurred to me that I should look up worship too, and I was quite surprised by the results.  There are four main words for worship in the Old Testament writings, the most important and frequently used word being shachah (Strong’s  OT 7812).  It is used about 100 times in the Old Testament and it represents the primary response by the majority of the OT patriarchs.  It means to bow down, crouch, fall down, be flat, humbly beseech, make obeisance, do reverence, to make to stoop down, to worship. We see this expression of worship begin with Abraham.  Moses worshiped this way when he was with God on Mount Sinai.[5]

The New Testament equivalent of this word is the Greek word proskuneo (Strong’s NT 4352).  Jesus bowed to God in worship in this way throughout the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.  The word is used about 60 times throughout the New Testament.

Proskuneo is the form of worship the devil wanted Jesus to offer to him in exchange for all the worldly kingdom authority and dominion which the devil had taken from Adam in the Garden of Eden.  This was a valid offer of trade, and the foundational understanding of why there is evil in the world today.

We see accounts of people being groomed and prepared to meet with the Queen of England; and it is unheard of NOT to obey the royal protocol spelled out prior to such a privilege.  These references revealed my need for a deeper level of respect in my response to God, especially in personal prayer times.  I have reconsidered the awesome privilege of entering God’s presence, and respecting Him all the more in my obedience to His word.

Finally, this research delivered up a much misunderstood principal of worship which I was lacking.  The Old Testament word atsab (Strong’s 6087) found in Jeremiah 44, verse 19 reveals a fearful form of worship being offered to placate an angry and judgmental deity known as the queen of heaven.  Worry and fretting about not appeasing her correctly was the point of the text.

In Acts 7:42 we see God giving over unrepentant mankind (who refused to recognize Him as Sovereign, holy and worthy of complete devotion) to this form of self degradation.  The correlating Greek word used here is latreuo, with its root coming from the concept of being a hired menial laborer or a lowly slave.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave this imperative command in His most recognized appeal to the mass of humanity at His feet, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear…who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”[6]  It was also the heart behind His response when one of the teachers of the law questioned His opinion of the greatest commandment.

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength’.  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.”[7]

God does not want us to worry and be afraid.  He does not want us to worship our problems and exalt them over His love and care for our lives.  Over the past few years, God has been planting this understanding deep in my heart through the life events that we have faced in the turbulent economic times which have shaken our finances repeatedly.  Over and over again I hear His quiet, still voice…”Amy, do you trust Me?”

“Yes, Lord,” my heart cries out even through my tears, “I trust You and I refuse to lean on my own understanding of each trying issue on my path.  In all my ways I am going to acknowledge You and seek Your direction because You are my Shepherd.  I will bow down and I will worship.


[1] Potter, Don, “Facing The Wall,” copyright 2002, Potterhaus Music; Moravian Falls, NC.

[2] Potter, Don, ibid, cover page and page 1.

[3] Potter, Don, ibid; page 40.

[4] Strong, James; LL.D., S.T.D; “The New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible,” copyright 1995, 1996; Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, TN.

[5] Exodus 34, “The Comparative Study Bible,” copyright 1999; Zondervan; Grand Rapids, MI; pages 235, 237 and 239.

[6] Matthew 6:25-34; ibid, page 2441.

[7] Mark 12:28-34, ibid, page 2567.

By Amy Lee Hartmann

August 20, 2012

     Being the heroine in any event is always thrilling.  Being heralded as the leading lady who brought about great victory – or salvation – or deliverance causes many a woman to aspire to achieve great things when under personal, social, moral or political pressure.  Rising to the rank of queen, or brave woman, or leader is cause for great celebration. However, the shoes of the defeated, swept away, rightly disposed individual often hold just as a compelling human being whose failures leave key life lessons too!  Such is the story of the renowned beauty, Queen Vashti, royal hostess and much admired companion of  King Xerxes.

“Xerxes (also known as Ahasuerus) was a Persian king who reigned 486-464 B.C. …He was the son of Darius The Great and grandson of Cyrus the Great.[1]  Persia was a vast collection of states and kingdoms reaching from the shores of Asia Minor in the west to to the Indus River valley in the east.  It reached northward to southern Russia, and in the south included Egypt and the regions bordering the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman”.[2]

This territory encompasses modern day Iran.  The book of Esther describes this kingdom as reaching from India to Ethiopia – over 127 provinces all together.  By today’s reckonings, that would include many well recognized nations.  Vashti had the world and this powerful man at her feet.  All the wealth and resources of one of the largest and most well organized kingdoms in biblical history were at her disposal.  Her very name meant “the once desired, the beloved.”[3]

King Xerxes had been on his throne for three years when he decided to hold a feast for all his princes and servants.  Biblical accounts suggest that these sort of celebrations were not that unusual.  King Solomon and King Hezekiah are leaders who utilized these events to proclaim their status to their world.  The court of King Xerxes feasted for 180 days.  During this time he showed off his “glorious kingdom and the splendor and excellence of his majesty.”[4]  At the end of this elaborate extravaganza, the king then made a feast for all the inhabitants of the royal city, from the least to the greatest alike.  This banquet carried on for seven more days.

Vashti’s story unfolds in this majestic setting of the citadel of Susa, the winter capital of the ancient Persian Empire.  The palace gardens were decked with elaborate, sumptuously colored linen hangings fastened with white linen cords laced through silver grommets.  These draperies were supported by marble columns seated on a mosaic pavement of mother-of pearl, marble, costly stones and porphyry (red marble stones composed of feldspar crystals embedded in a dark red or purple ground mass)[5].  Couches of gold and silver provided the perfect seating for this imperial garden party.

Royal wine was abundant and liberally served by the wine stewards.  The people were encouraged to drink according to their own desire.  Queen Vashti made a feast for all the women of the palace household at this same time.  Susa was rocking!

On the seventh day of the final feast, the heart of the king was gladdened by much revelry and wine, so he decided to show his subjects one of his greatest treasures, his beautiful Queen Vashti.  The texts say that she was very fair and lovely to look upon.  It was at this very moment that divine destiny crept in and raised one of those unique portals that caused time and chance to shift.  Maybe Queen Vashti was tired; after all she had played hostess to a large banquet of high maintenance women from the palace.  Maybe she just didn’t feel good and hadn’t been wise about all of her banquet choices.  Regardless of her reasons, at this critical juncture of her life, she chose to disregard the royal eunuchs sent to prepare her to appear before the king.  She refused to wear her crown.

Her husband was enraged.  The princes and royal advisers trembled with anger and fear.  The wise-men were called, “those who understood the times, the law and judgment.”[6] Memucan, one of the king’s closest advisers gave this reply:

“Vashti the queen has not only done wrong to the king but also to all the princes and to all the peoples who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus.  For this deed of the queen will become known to all women, making their husbands contemptible in their eyes, since they will say ‘King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him but she did not come’.  This very day the ladies of Persia and Media who have heard of the queen’s behavior will be telling it to all the king’s princes.  So contempt and wrath in plenty will arise.”[7]

Another translation says, “This very day the Persian and Median women of the nobility who have heard about the queen’s conduct will respond to all the king’s nobles in the same way.  There will be no end of disrespect and discord.”[8]

Contempt, wrath-in-plenty, unending disrespect and discord….such are the fruits of dishonor.  How many of us have stood in similar shoes…maybe not as politically heeled as Vashti’s…but still shoes that carry the same weight in our world and our circumstances?  Another renowned wise king named Solomon gives us this perspective, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish woman tears hers down”.[9]

The Apostle Paul, gives this insight into the topic of honor and respect in marriage when he writes to the Ephesian church:

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church; He himself being the Savior of the body…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up for her…nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”[10]

Paul repeats this same directive to the church at Colossae:

“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.

These admonitions aren’t popular and politically correct attitudes now days, but that does not mean that they aren’t the foundational answer to many relationship problems between a husband and wife.  Why would God repeatedly command a husband ‘to love his wife as he loves himself ’unless there was going to be this disconnect in the attitudes of a husband.  God was warning  that this is a key issue in keeping the heart of a wife free from hurt and bitterness.

Why would God reiterate again and again ‘that the woman must respect her husband’ unless this was going to be a key issue in keeping the husband’s heart free from hurt, anger and bitterness?

Being subject does not mean being abused.  The Greek word is hupotasso and it really means to obey, to respect and to come up under and look up to.

At this solemn moment in Vashti’s life, her fate is sealed.  There is no second chance.  “Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media, which cannot be repealed, that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Xerxes.  Also let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better than she.  Then, when the king’s edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest.”[11]

The rest of the story goes like this:  “After these things, when the wrath of King Xerxes had subsided, he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what he had decreed about her.”[12]  The King’s personal servants suggest the king issue a call for all the fair young virgins of the provinces to be brought into the palace of Shushan.  This royal search will find a suitable new queen.  A multi-year long beauty pageant brings a host of young women and an orphaned Jewish girl named Hadassah into the palace for purification and beauty treatments.

Hadassah’s uncle Mordecai insists she use the Persian name of Esther to mask her nationality and family background.  The text says she continued to obey and follow her uncle’s directions the entire time she was in the palace, just as she had done when he was bringing her up.  One interesting aspect of Esther’s story is found tucked away in the technical details of this book:  Queen Vashti disobeyed the king’s command at the end of the banquet in the third year of Xerxes’ reign.  Esther’s turn to be with King Xerxes took place in the tenth month of the seventh year of his reign.  Four long years of complete obedience to the eunuchs in charge had to pass before Esther’s divine portal opened and her destiny came forth.

Esther’s time as Queen ultimately provides the opportunity for her to stand up for her people.  Hatred for the Jewish people rises up in Haman, one of the king’s closest advisers, and he plots ethnic cleansing of the entire kingdom of Persia. When Mordecai learns of this edict, he tears his clothes, dons sackcloth and ashes, and then goes out into the city, lamenting loudly for his people.  Esther’s maids and royal servants carry this distressing information to the young queen and she sends one of the king’s eunuchs to investigate.  Through the eunuch, Mordecai urges Esther to go before the king and plead for mercy.

Esther fearfully reminds her uncle that the laws of the royal province state that anyone who approaches the king in his inner court without being summoned directly by the king, receives an immediate death sentence, unless the king extends his royal scepter to that person.  She nervously confides that it has been thirty days since she was last called into the king’s chambers.

Uncle Mordecai gives this compelling direction to Esther, when the royal edict is released to all the other provinces of the kingdom:

“Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape.  For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish.  And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”[13]

“Go, gather together all the Jews who are found in Susa and fast for me; do not eat or drink for three days – night or day – and I and my maidens also will fast in the same way.  And thus I will go into the king, which is not according to the law; and if I perish, I perish,” Esther replies.

On the third day, Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the palace in view of the king.  When King Xerxes saw her he was pleased and he held out to her his golden scepter.  Over the next few days, Esther humbly serves the king and the enemy adviser through a series of banquets.  The king is captivated and demands she make her petition before him, even up to half of his kingdom!

Finally, in a moment of high drama, she pleads for her life, and that of her people.  Haman’s evil plot of ethnic cleansing is exposed!  The King’s rage at the intrigue of this plot boils up and he races out of the banqueting hall to call for his advisers.  In a panic, Haman falls upon the young queen, begging for his life.  The king returns just as Haman grabs for Esther and that triggers the portal for Haman’s demise.

“Will Haman even molest the queen while she is with me in the house?” Xerxes angrily exclaims, as the guards cover Haman’s head and drag him away.  The very instrument of death Haman has erected for the killing of his Jewish enemies becomes his own execution site; and sadly, the same for his ten sons.  The king grants Mordecai the task of issuing a new edict that grants the Jews in every province the right to defend themselves from the previous order calling for their death.  Thus the Jewish holiday of Purim is created as a remembrance of the deliverance of Queen Esther and her people.

Regrettably, “…no (other) records yet have been recovered which name Vashti as the queen of any king of the Medo-Persian Empire…”[14]  Vashti was swept away without further mention. Vashti’s parting epitath might well be, “The test of honor came when least expected but its consequences endured for a lifetime.”


[1] Xerxes, “The Holman Bible Dictionary;” Trent C. Butler, PH.D., General Editor; copyright 1991; Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville, TN; page 1428[2] Persia, ibid, page 1097.

[3] Vashti, ibid, page 1388.

[4] Esther 1:4, “The Comparative Study Bible,” copyright 1999; Zondervan, Grand Rapids, MI; page 1260.

[5] Porphyry, “The Holman Bible Dictionary;” Trent C. Butler, PH.D., General Editor; copyright 1991; Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville, TN; page 1125.

[6] Esther 1:13, “The Comparative Study Bible,” ibid, page 1260.

[7] Esther 1:16-18, “The Comparative Study Bible – The Amplified Version,” ibid, page 1260 and 1262.

[8] Esther 1:18, “The Comparative Study Bible – New International Version,” ibid, page 1263.

[9] Proverbs 14:1; ibid, page 1621.

[10] Ephesians 6:22, 23, 25,33; Colossians 3:18,19;ibid, pages 3011 and 3035 .

[11] Esther 1:19-20; ibid, page 1263.

[12] Esther 2:1-4; ibid, page 1263.

[13] Esther 4:12-14; ibid, page 1269.

[14] Vashti, The Holman Bible Dictionary;” Trent C. Butler, PH.D., General Editor; copyright 1991; Holman Bible Publishers, Nashville, TN; page 1389.

A good name…

Posted: February 7, 2012 in The Super in my natural...

A good name (especially with God) is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold!  Proverbs 22:1

My name was given to me in June of 1960.  My parents took me up from that moment of birth and they named me after my maternal grandmother, Amy Lee Carter Smith.  As I grew up and became a young woman, my own name began to emerge…I liked to act in plays at school.  I liked to run the mile and even managed to letter in that event one year in high school.  I liked to sing; and my gift, as trained and developed by my talented, singing mother, became a pathway for college.  Voice scholarships sent me to Cumberland College, in Lebanon, Tennessee for two years.

College was the best of times…and the worst of times in my young life.  My father died – suddenly and unexpectedly on my first day of exams – my first semester of college.  When he died, my anchor for academic achievement became dislodged.  I lost sight of the end goal and I ceased to care.

Through those aimless years of partying and self-seeking, God stayed faithful to me.  I cannot say the same thing about myself.  I left my home town and moved to Atlanta, Georgia.  There God opened the door for me to go to work for American Software, Inc. (ASI).  I began to experience God’s favor through some amazing people at ASI.  The Director of Recruiting, a wonderful business woman and highly respected for her keen recruiting abilities favored me.  She became a life mentor.

ASI Purchasing and Materials Management leadership began to recognize some of my dormant talents…people skills, administration gifts, eagerness to get the job done quickly and with excellence.  With their guidance, I was released into the new Customer Support group; I was trained to manage customer accounts, to help answer the never ending questions on how the many software packages worked, to go onsite and help guide the software planning process.  Eventually I was promoted into a Quality Assurance team position and my traveling days commenced.

Many wonderful consultants at ASI helped fine-tune my talents.  To name them all would take a lot of space.  As I traveled, I began to develop a new world view.  My limited, small town, East Tennessee concepts of life began to fall away.  God gave me new friends who have stayed with me through all of my years since my first days with ASI.  Numerous key accounts sent me to Holland, to England, to Canada and cities all across the USA.   I still have professional friendships with many of my former ASI customers.  I think that fact is amazing.

My times in London, England; in Leiden, Holland; in Chicago, IL; Mahwah, NJ  and in Milford, MA remain firmly etched as incredible, blessed times.   In 1987, the opportunity came to work on site with PTT in Holland.  At that same time I began to have some troubling dreams.  Seeking some solace from the night visions, I picked up my dusty Bible which was in a stack of old books on the floor in my closet.  For some unknown reason, I decided not to leave for Holland without it. I was still far away from God but those dreams at night began calling me back to my spiritual, godly heritage.

My time of re-dedication and renewal took place in 1988 when I moved to London to work on the Elizabeth Arden implementation team.  While touring St Paul’s Cathedral, I felt the Presence of God once again.  Then, a friend invited me to attend a small Anglican worship service at a small old church in Ealing Broadway, where I encountered people whole-heartedly worshiping God.  People stood in their rows, with their arms uplifted.  Some had tears in their eyes; others danced.  I had never seen any church service like it before; nor had I felt the tangible Presence of God in such a way.

I made up my mind, that upon my return to the States,  I would find a church and give my life back to Christ.  The music of Mylon LeFevre and Broken Heart played a significant role in preparing my heart to receive Jesus as Lord.  In September of 1989 I went to Mt. Paran Church of God, in Atlanta, GA because of the reference on the back of Mylon and Broken Heart’s many recordings.

A former Methodist minister named Mark Rutland was on staff at Mt. Paran.  He was studying for his doctorate at Emory University.  His testimony and teaching regarding his own amazing encounters with Holy Spirit dismantled my remaining analytical resistance to the tangible power of Grace.   At that point, my head knowledge began to shift to heart knowledge and I was radically transformed by the power of Jesus’ love for me and the direct outpouring of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Professional seasons must also change, and at that time I came back to Atlanta to rest and help on a Research and Development project.  It was during that season that I met my husband.  We were both volunteering for a homeless ministry through Metro Bible Study.  Charles Ellis and his family had spearheaded Metro over 20 years before I ever encountered the gathering in 1990.  Louie Giglio and Andy Stanley were two young preachers that stepped up to the Metro Bible Study teaching podium during my days at the Tuesday evening gatherings.

After my marriage, my husband and I realized that having a family and raising children with a stay-at-home mother was crucial to our goals.  Leaving ASI was one of the hardest moments of my life.  Over the next seven years, I gave myself to the overwhelming task of birthing and caring for my young children.   My three kids remain the most important project anyone ever assigned me to manage.  It was during those sleepless nights tending to crying babies that my desire to write began to re-emerge.  I had written numerous professional documents; some of them quite lengthy; I had not done any real personal writing since college.

Late at night I began to sit down and write.  Children’s stories and novels were  my primary focus during those early days.   In 2004 I took up topical subject writing as Biblical understanding stirred me to take note of what Holy Spirit was teaching me.   The faithfulness of God under-girded every negative, self-destructive situation of my own past doings.   Who I am in Christ remains one of the greatest on-going lessons Holy Spirit patiently reveals through my personal study time and prayer time.  In Christ, all the fullness of the Godhead resides…and to know that I’ve been given that fullness gives me complete hope that my times are safely in His hands and my identity is not in my past accomplishments or wrong-doings…I am a new creation.